Toxic Relationships – From Victim to Victor

Greetings Readers!

So I'm watching the third season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (having to watch the show for a whole semester of English 102 has me hooked again. Anyway…) and there's this episode called "The Beauty and the Beasts" which, for all intents and purposes deals with abusive relationships.

This got me thinking about the warning signs of these types of relationships (physical/mental/emotional abuse, Isolations from friends/family, double standards and substance abuse to name a few) and why we choose to ignore them.

I think we sometimes cling to toxic people because of the initial attention we receive. This is especially so when a first love is involved. From that point something in our minds formulates the equation that somebody is better than nobody. Regardless of how much pain this person puts you through you STILL go back to them.

How do you break free of this person? How can you let go of someone you love so much that, whether you know it or not, is feeding off of your torment? Here are a few suggestions:

• First, embrace a victor's attitude by admitting you're in an unhealthy relationship and will no longer intentionally be a victim.
  
• Get a support team together of your closest friends, counselors, ANYONE that can help you stay devoted to letting go of the toxic person.
  
• Accept that you deserve to be happy. It's a right all beings have and no one should hinder yours.
  

No one has the right to hold your love/friendship hostage. You deserve to be with someone that will cherish and respect. Be patient…that Love WILL find you if you feel you deserve it.

Coping with Adversity

"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are." - Arthur Golden

Greetings Readers!

Before I begin, I would like to apologize for the delay in posts (and wish all the dads out there a Happy Belated Father's Day!). I purchased a domain name for the blog and foolishly tried to make the changes myself that would allow the MyIISense.com to point to the Blogger account. Needless to say, I had to contact support; everything should be A-OK in 2 days!

Now – On to the topic at hand…

Dealing with adversity is a very touchy subject for most people. It involves coming to terms with a particular situation or set of circumstances and, hopefully finding a solution. I recall reading something from Wayne Dyer's book The Power of Intention that applies here: Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.

As stated in the opening quote, adversity can be seen as transformative wind that blows away the things that we may be clinging to and leaves us with what we need to endure and overcome our "troubles". Likewise it can be viewed as the fire that consumes our average everyday notions of what should be and forces us to be more creative in handling our "problems" to find a LASTING solution.

If we change the way we perceive what's going on in our lives from a negative view and instead envision the opportunity in what is going on around us I would bet my last dollar that the outcome of our situations would be much more positive. What are your thoughts? How do you deal with adversity? Comment and let us know!

Have a PERFECT day!

Michael

My II Sense