Toxic Relationships – From Victim to Victor

Greetings Readers!

So I'm watching the third season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (having to watch the show for a whole semester of English 102 has me hooked again. Anyway…) and there's this episode called "The Beauty and the Beasts" which, for all intents and purposes deals with abusive relationships.

This got me thinking about the warning signs of these types of relationships (physical/mental/emotional abuse, Isolations from friends/family, double standards and substance abuse to name a few) and why we choose to ignore them.

I think we sometimes cling to toxic people because of the initial attention we receive. This is especially so when a first love is involved. From that point something in our minds formulates the equation that somebody is better than nobody. Regardless of how much pain this person puts you through you STILL go back to them.

How do you break free of this person? How can you let go of someone you love so much that, whether you know it or not, is feeding off of your torment? Here are a few suggestions:

• First, embrace a victor's attitude by admitting you're in an unhealthy relationship and will no longer intentionally be a victim.
  
• Get a support team together of your closest friends, counselors, ANYONE that can help you stay devoted to letting go of the toxic person.
  
• Accept that you deserve to be happy. It's a right all beings have and no one should hinder yours.
  

No one has the right to hold your love/friendship hostage. You deserve to be with someone that will cherish and respect. Be patient…that Love WILL find you if you feel you deserve it.

Coping with Adversity

"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are." - Arthur Golden

Greetings Readers!

Before I begin, I would like to apologize for the delay in posts (and wish all the dads out there a Happy Belated Father's Day!). I purchased a domain name for the blog and foolishly tried to make the changes myself that would allow the MyIISense.com to point to the Blogger account. Needless to say, I had to contact support; everything should be A-OK in 2 days!

Now – On to the topic at hand…

Dealing with adversity is a very touchy subject for most people. It involves coming to terms with a particular situation or set of circumstances and, hopefully finding a solution. I recall reading something from Wayne Dyer's book The Power of Intention that applies here: Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.

As stated in the opening quote, adversity can be seen as transformative wind that blows away the things that we may be clinging to and leaves us with what we need to endure and overcome our "troubles". Likewise it can be viewed as the fire that consumes our average everyday notions of what should be and forces us to be more creative in handling our "problems" to find a LASTING solution.

If we change the way we perceive what's going on in our lives from a negative view and instead envision the opportunity in what is going on around us I would bet my last dollar that the outcome of our situations would be much more positive. What are your thoughts? How do you deal with adversity? Comment and let us know!

Have a PERFECT day!

Michael

My II Sense

Making Sure Dad is All STRETCHED Out

Greetings Readers!

Since June is Dad's Month at My II Sense and I thought I'd continue my Wellness Wednesdays with a piece on stretching which is a great way to maintain your flexibility as you get older. I do a series of stretches before I go to work that help relieve back, knee and neck tension since I sometimes experience lower back and knee pain if I walk to much.

I know there are a lot of dads out there like me that sit behind a desk for extended periods of time so I've provided links below to a few online resources offering "Office Yoga" stretches; most can be done at your desk!

http://www.shelterpub.com/_fitness/_desk_stretches/desk_stretches.pdf

http://www2.vhi.ie/topic/stretchguide

http://www.ehow.com/how_4741615_relieve-pain-simple-stretching-exercises.html

Do you have stretches that you'd like to share? Comment below!

Have a PERFECT day!

Michael

My II Sense

Finding Happiness During Difficult Times

The only way on earth to multiply happiness is to divide it. - Paul Scherer

Greetings Readers!

Let's face it, times are hard right now. VERY hard. Unemployment is at an all time high. People are losing their homes and jobs faster than the media can keep up with. It seems no one is exempt from the turmoil going on in society today.

For me, the issue is being under employed. I'm currently attending college to gain new skills but the reality is that even with these new skills it will be a challenge to find better employment.

I have my days (today in fact) when I feel like giving up. My wife has had similar bouts with this all consuming depression – we all have – but it's times like these when we must remain faithful and prayerful (in a manner in which we are ALREADY receiving) to make it through these rough waters.

But how do you do it? How do you keep your focus on the light at the end of the tunnel when it seems the closer you get the smaller that beacon becomes? It's no simple task…Neither is it impossible.

Regardless of what's going on around us there is a feeling deep inside that reminds us that things will get better if only we weather the storm just a little bit longer. You can call this knowing
by whatever name you like but acknowledge it. Seek it out. Listen to it. It WILL guide you through.

As suggested in the quote above it's imperative that we show one another kindness now more than ever before. Help a stranger on the street. Volunteer in your community. Be nice to that relative that everyone loves to hate.

I challenge everyone to share a little happiness with at least three people that they may not have considered doing so with before. Spread the light of love and watch as it blossoms in both the giver and the recipient.

By doing this we honor our primary purpose to be of service to one another and maybe gain a little more energy to make it through another day.

Have a PERFECT day!

Michael

My II Sense

Whip Dad Into Shape for Father’s Day

Greetings Readers!

I've decided to dedicate this post to discussing a few methods that dads (and everyone else) can begin whipping themselves into shape. Here are a few things I've begun doing; I hope it inspires others to pursue a healthier lifestyle.

• Morning Smoothies – I'm not big on eating breakfast but since it is an important meal I didn't want to keep skipping it. I generally make a "Jungle Juice" smoothie (no, not the one containing 151!). You take one whole banana and/or other fruit along with one tablespoon of ginger and eight ounces of orange juice and blend. Guaranteed to get you going!
  
• Increased My Walking Regimen – As a parent, I have a tendency to get the kids to go to the store for me when I want something (usually junk food!) so now I simple go myself (an TRY not to buy junk!). Also, I've started taking the stairs more during my commute to work. I've dropped 5lbs just doing that!
  
• Being More Positive – I've been meditating more to increase my mental clarity. Meditation also allows me to have more focus, relieves stress and boosts my overall ability to cope with life's ups and downs.
  

Now that's not to say that you should do what I do. There are plenty of ways to encourage dad to get into optimal health such as:

• Give him a gift basket with heart healthy items like nuts, fruit and even chocolate! Include a little note thanking him for being a great dad and push for him to continue eating healthy foods like those in his basket.
  
• Engage in activities that promote everyone's health. This can include playing tag in the yard, going for family walks in the park or playing sports together.
  
• Cheer dad on for his healthy habits by fixing a healthy version of his favorite meal!
  

What ways would you get your favorite dad to get in shape? Share them with our reads in the comments below.

Have a PERFECT day!

Michael

My II Sense

Dads Dealing with Being Unappreciated

"Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad." -Anne Geddes

Greetings Readers!

Since Father's Day is next Sunday I will be dedicating all posts leading up to that day to Dads.

Recently, my own experiences as a dad led me to check out how other dads deal with feeling unappreciated. I found this great post here on the subject and wanted to share it with the MIIS readers.

Now as I mentioned, I've recently felt similarly to the dad in that story. Likewise, I'm come to the conclusion that although it may seem as though my efforts go unnoticed I always seem to get confirmation that I'm doing SOMETHING right by the smiles on their faces when they leave for school in the morning, the offers to "do something nice" just because or directly admitted (this one is VERY rare! LOL) to me at some point.

I think what we as dads must realize is though on the surface we may feel like the things we do for our families isn't held in high regard we must endeavor to continue doing them anyway. In doing so, we not only provide a stable environment for our families we're also rewarded with the most valuable Father's Day gift of all – Love!

Have a PERFECT day!

Michael

My II Sense

How to Boost Your Energy in the Workplace

Greetings Readers!

Have you ever been at your desk and began feeling tired or sluggish even if you've had a decent night's sleep? Have you ever felt stiff, especially in the neck and shoulders? Here are a few techniques I use to boost my energy level and shrug off that stiff Tin Man feeling!

1. Bellows Breathing – This is an excellent technique for fighting off fatigue and it's so simple! Sit comfortably with spine erect but relaxed. Begin taking deep breaths in through your nostrils expanding your lower abdomen completely. Exhale fully, again, through your nostrils rapidly as if using a bellows to fuel a fire. Bellows Breathing should be done no more than 15 seconds at a time when first beginning and gradually increase the duration of the exercise by five seconds with a maximum practice time of one minute. NOTE: There is a risk of hyperventilation leading to unconsciousness if practiced too much when first beginning! Listen to your body and practice this technique responsibly.
   
2. Neck Rotations – This little technique always works for me when my neck begins to feel like steel cable. All you do is slowly rotate your head in a clockwise motion about 3-5 times and repeat the same motion in counterclockwise fashion to roll that rigidness right on out!
   
3. Shoulder Shrugs – An oldie but goodie, shoulder shrugs are an excellent way to remove tension in the shoulders, upper and middle back. Similar to the neck rotations you roll your shoulders forward in a circular motion for several repetitions then switch and do the same thing in the opposite direction. Your arms, neck and back will thank for the attention!
   

Other Things You Can Do

Here's a list of other things you can try that will increase your energy and limit fatigue:

1. Limit Your Caffeine Intake – While coffee and sodas do provide a brief pick me eventually, the crash you feel far outweighs the benefit of these beverages. Additionally, caffeine has been attributed to depression, insomnia and fatigue, the very thing most people use caffeine to combat!
   
2. Eat Nuts to Boost Your Energy – I frequently carry peanuts and cashews with me to nibble on throughout the day because of their high protein and vitamin content. This keeps cravings for junk food at bay and gives my body the fuel it needs to keep going until my next meal.
   
3. Get as Much Rest as You Can – In today's society it's hard to get five hours of quality sleep at night let alone eight! That's why it's even more important to find ways to rest your body and mind. My two personal favorites are minute mediations and power naps. Both provide a quick way to "unplug" from the world, even if only for a minute, to allow me body and mind to regroup and relax.
   
4. Drink Plenty of Water – OK, I know EVERYONE preaches this but it's true! Water assists in the digestion and absorption of food, lubricates joints and prevents low energy levels. Increasing my daily water intake alone has helped reduce my fatigue!
   

Increasing your level of energy will help you deal with customers and coworkers better and, more importantly, it will help you feel better about YOU!

I hope these little tips help get you through the day and allow you to tolerate your customers and coworkers more. If you have a great technique for getting energized at work feel free to share!

Michael

My II Sense

Blog Sources

Effects of Caffeine - http://www.faqs.org/nutrition/Ca-De/Caffeine.html

Some Info on Various Nuts - http://www.naturalhub.com/natural_food_guide_nuts_common.htm