People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
-- Thich Nhat Hanh
We've all done it. Stayed in a negative relationship long after we knew it was poisonous to us. Persist with a job we know is unfulfilling. Continue to call someone friend who is clearly the opposite. Why? Why do we continue to accept unnecessary pain into our lives?
Surely we are worthy of more than the heartache we carry with us each day and yet we persist in holding on to it with every fiber of our being as though we would be less without it.
My martial arts instructor said something to me many years ago that shook me out of my need to hold on to painful people and situations: "How long would you continue to place your hand into a fire before deciding you no longer wanted to feel the pain?"
I've personally, held on to a relationship that was just like the fire my teacher spoke of, continually accepting the pain as though it were suppose to be part of me. It wasn't until I heard those words that I realized I didn't have to continue to burn myself in a relationship clearly headed nowhere fast.
Examine your lives, your friendships, your partnerships. Which ones are fulfilling, providing you with love and encouragement. Which ones are depleting, taking away from you the very essence and will to do better in life. Keep those that are nurturing to your continued growth and peacefully, let go of those that are not.
Keep in mind also, that you shouldn't rush your way out of these situations before your time. Regardless of how painful a situation my be each offers a valuable opportunity for growth that shouldn't be overlooked.
In some cases, as it was with me, you won't have to do a thing. The Universe has a way of removing those forces from our lives automatically but only when we've made the conscious decision that we are worthy of more the lack we've accustomed ourselves to.
Here's a passage someone sent to me a while back that applies; I hope it provides you with the push you need to begin attracting healthy relationships into your life.
As I Let Go
I easily let go of the things I don't need.
I easily let go of my old, immature concepts of what life is.
I easily let go of all unhealthy addictions. I let go of any desire to control or to manipulate people.
As I let go, I make room for all the good things which Life has prepared for me.
Michael
My II Sense
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring,
ReplyDeleteit means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for,
but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny,
but to accept.
To "let go" it not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings, and correct them.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires
but to take each day as it comes,
and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To "let go" is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less,
and love more.
Thanks Krystyn!
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